We’ve Got Grass!

I was so excited to wake up to a sea of baby grass on Friday.  What a rush – I guess I’m really a suburbanite now.  Will it all last?  It’s too early to say.  But Glop’s talents at the grill may soon be overshadowed by his talents in the yard.  Burger Master today, Lawn King tomorrow?   Let’s just call him Lawn Boy for now.

Here’s how Glop finally got grass to grow on the runway (with lots of help from Glip, of course):


-Two weeks out, we nuke every weed in the backyard with Roundup (not proud to resort to a toxic attack, but in this case it had to be done).

-We leave for week long-vacation and let the Roundup work its magic.

-We return.  Success!!  All weeds are dead. No sooner have we screeched into the drive (at 8 AM) than Glop is in his car and headed for Home Depot to buy 24 bags of dirt (the 24 we already have being  not quite enough).

-Glip is left alone to transition the children and unpack the smelly post-trip car (horrors).  I know, not really relevant to growing grass, but just want to clarify my role in all this.

-Within the next 8 hours, Glop applies the following to the runway:


Compost (here we redeem our environmental lapse by using compost from our own compost pit)

Lime (lots and lots of it, to counteract the acidity resulting from all the oak trees in our yard)

-We water our “lawn foundation.”

-We stop for beer and bed.

-The next morning, we borrow a rototiller from a neighbor and repay kindness with a gift certificate from, where else, THE BEER STORE!  (And no, I am not being paid to endorse this place – it’s just our new fave place.)

-Glop almost amputates leg trying to start rototiller.  Glip reminds Glop of neighbor’s directions to start tiller against a tree.

-Glop finally starts tiller and breaks ground.  No one is injured, though Glip has a few more gray hairs.

-Glop gets really really dirty and is heckled by Glip, who calls him Lawn Boy and Pig Pen.

-At midday, Glop applies the following to the newly tilled land:

Grass seed (we used Pennington Northeast Mix, at recommendation of a neighbor)


Peat Moss – Glop is sure to coat not just the runway but the porch and deck as well, because he knows how much Glip enjoys cleaning up his messes.  Payback for heckling.

-Water, water, water.

-Despair as late night downpour washes away Glop’s hard work.

-The next evening Glop makes a post-work Home Depot run for more seed and peat moss and commences reseeding until 9 pm as Glop continues her childcare marathon without pause.

-The hard labor done, the fate of the grass rests in Glip’s hands as she must water, water, water at all costs, leaving children unattended and dinners burning (just kidding, of course).


But it’s all been worth it, so far.  The grass is growing…stay tuned.

Just a note to anyone considering a project of similar scope – for our back lawn area, which is about 2000 sq ft, we used three times the recommended amount of soil, lime, compost, seed and peat moss.  I credit our fledgling lawn to that and the homemade compost.

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One Response to We’ve Got Grass!

  1. gardenerat60 says:

    Too good try! The result is there for us to see.
    More grey hair and more green grass. Lucky people.!

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